Summer 2009: Movie Rape Fest?

The summer 2009 movie season is shaping up to kick us all in collective teeth with it's mighty awesomeness.  I'm suspecting 2010 will be even better (what with Iron Man 2 and Thor slated for that summer) But here's a look of things to come.

April:
Crank: High Voltage

May:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Star Trek
Bruno
Terminator Salvation
Drag Me to Hell
Up

June:
Land of the Lost
The Year One
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

July:
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Funny People

August:
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I'm pretty sure It'll be impossible to get out there and see all these, but Hell's yes.  Awesome summer is afoot.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Woops, I just had a geekgasam.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Movie Trailer - What Do You Think? | /Film

Proof: Nintendo was Evil

Wow, this borders on the creepy.

/gamer � Blog Archive � Proof: Nintendo was Evil

The American Akira

I swear, this is my new favorite video.

VOTD: The American Akira | /Film

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith to Remake Oldboy?!

Damnit, just... Damnit.

Oh well, let us watch one of the greatest action scenes of all time.



Steven Spielberg and Will Smith to Remake Oldboy?! | /Film

Why The Hell Dennis Hopper Did That Mario Movie

I made a picture called Super Mario Bros., and my six-year-old son at the time — he's now 18 — he said, 'Dad, I think you're probably a pretty good actor, but why did you play that terrible guy King Koopa in Super Mario Bros.?' and I said, 'Well Henry, I did that so you could have shoes,' and he said, 'Dad, I don't need shoes that badly.'

Hollywood: Why The Hell Dennis Hopper Did That Mario Movie

Ben Folds - You Don't Know Me

You Dont Know Me (featuring Regina Spektor)

Did you know Ben Folds only creates masterpieces of art, YOU BASTARDSHITS! Ben Folds + Time & Eric = Sex Explode in my pants.

New 300 Boxed Set

Daddy want. OH DADDY WANT.

Tropic Thunder

"Enjoyable for film fans, most people won't care, but Tom Cruise might have actually redeemed himself."

-BCX

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

"A really good movie that got a "Dark Knight" crushing."

-BCX

"It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?"

-Gaff (Blade Runner)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

From Post Secret

I feel the same way.

vonnegut.jpg (image)

Bigfoot News

What the conference footage above lets you know is some background on the issue.



However, from Reuters:

One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum, according to Curt Nelson, a scientist at the University of Minnesota who performed the DNA analysis.

However, Beardy Man isn't deterred:

Biscardi said the DNA samples may not have been taken correctly and may have been contaminated, and that he would proceed with an autopsy of the alleged Bigfoot remains, currently in a freezer at an undisclosed location.

/gossip � Blog Archive � Bigfoot Press Conference

The History of Video Game Consoles and Handhelds

Ahhh, memories!

/gamer � Blog Archive � VOTD: The History of Video Game Consoles and Handhelds

Movie Review: Step Brothers

"Grown men acting like children will always be funny." -BCX

step-brothers-poster-big.jpg (JPEG Image, 500x743 pixels)

Bernie Mac: Dead

I loved and still love the Bernie Mac Show. It was the best black family comedy maybe ever. So, let's all remember what piss and vinegar Bernie had.



Bernie Mac Is Dead | /Film

Alpa Chino

This Tropic Thunder stuff is getting freaking hilarious.

Bender’s Game

Cover art has been released, as well as a release date: Nov. 4th, 2008. WOO!

Futurama: Bender’s Game (US - DVD R1) in News > Releases at DVDActive

MY NIGHTMARE HAS COME TRUE!

Uh oh [pic] | Srsly LoL

Sam Raimi Confirms Evil Dead 4

I'm still scared this is some sort of trick. But, YAY!

Sam Raimi Confirms Evil Dead 4 with The Bruce | /Film

This ad has been pulled

I never even got to see it on TV.

Snickers TV Commercial - Get Some Nuts - video powered by Metacafe

Queers United: New Snickers Ad Encourages Homophobia and Violence

Apoll 14 astronaut claims aliens have made contact

Dr Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview that sources at the space agency who had had contact with aliens described the beings as 'little people who look strange to us.'

He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a small frame, large eyes and head.

Is this just a big promotion for The Watchmen? Maybe Men in Black 3? The Article even includes this handy photo:

Zero Punctuation : Age of Conan

I love watching Zero Punctuation even if I don't care about the game.

The Escapist : Video Galleries : Zero Punctuation : Age of Conan

Tales of Ribaldry

I loves these two sketches from Saturday Night Live. Jon Lovitz is awesome as a dandy.

Sadly, the better "A Wench, A Wife, and the Traveling Bootblack" hasn't made it or stayed on the internet. I do have a few pics to share with you though.





You want to know what became of Evelyn Quince?

Country Roses

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I love this sketch.

Oh Lord.

Why is this giving me an erection?

Holy Shit

That just scares the hell outta me.

Alan Ball Returns!

Alan Ball mad us all love him with American Beauty, then he lovingly broke our hearts with Six Feet Under, his adaptation of "Towelhead" is waiting in the wings and now he hits us with a new HBO series "True Blood". Alan Ball + Vampires = Awesome TV. I can't wait.

Step Brothers Red Band Clip

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I LOVE THIS MOVIE, PLEASE DON'T SUCK.

Review - The Dark Knight

"Fucking Epic" - BudhaCronX

Damnit, not another fetish.

alod_oh_god_no.gif (GIF Image, 363x550 pixels)

Choke Red Band Movie Trailer

CHUCK PALAHNIUK IS A GOLDEN GOD. I swear, he could put a fountain pen in his dick hole, do a little dance over some paper, and it would be awesome. Also: WHAT IS THAT SONG IN THE TRAILER?!?!

NSFW: Choke Red Band Movie Trailer | /Film

Outlander Movie Trailer

Vikings + Future Humans + Alien/Dragon = HELLS YES!
No release date yet, but I'm so there.

Must Watch: Outlander Movie Trailer | /Film

Hellboy on Inside the Actors Studio

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

VOTD: Hellboy on Inside the Actors Studio | /Film

Bruno Sets a Release Date

Sasha Baron Cohen is giving me a wonderful birthday present next year, even if it is a day late. "Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt" will be released May 15th, 2009. Again my prediction will be: I will love it, almost everyone else will hate it. People will say he's gone too far. Then again, by that time Who in the hell knows what America will be like? I didn't think I'd be playing 4 bucks a gallon and seeing California allow Gay marriage so what do I know?

Bruno Gets an Epic Summer Blockbuster Release Date | /Film

Unholiest Film Moments

So, I was talking with someone the other day about moments in film that just make your skin crawl. I was referring to their as "Unholy".

The Prophecy

It took a long time to find this first clip, as it is one of my favorites. Please go watch this whole movie as it will rock your socks off. Forgotten masterpiece.



The Prophecy is full of great scenes, like Viggo Mortenson as Satan, the Devil, a former Lucifer, well, you get the idea.



Also: I couldn't find a clip, but here's another great mini-speach from Walken as the angel Gabriel:

"I'm an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why. "

Wishmaster

You may disagree, but Wishmaster 1, 2, and 4 ROCK. Well, 1 & 2 Rock, 4 is just mearly OK. One contained nods to other horror greats. Robert Englund (Freddie), Kane Hodder (Jason), Ted Raimi (sam's brother), Angus Scrimm (Tall Man from Phantasm), and in this scene Tony Todd (Candyman).



Texas Chainsaw Massacre

An oldie, but a goodie: Leatherface presumably needs to make hu-burgers so, here it is, the meathook scene.



Quick question hot shot: did you see the hook go in her back?

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Pinhead goes to church but I don't think he's in the mood to hear preaching. This one pretty much takes the cake.



While I'm not going to include any clips, any 30 seconds from part of the "August Underground" Trilogy counts as unholy. Go look it up for yourself.

Shirt

TopatoCo: Apolitical Pyromaniac Shirt (Preorder)

The anti-climatic demise of Ultra Magnus

Can't stop thinking about this scene from Transformers the movie today:



YouTube - The anti-climatic demise of Ultra Magnus

Ghetto Blaster

Cool Stuff: Graffiti Star Wars AT-AT | /Film

Stan Winston is Dead

Who will build our monsters now? Cancer took him away. Let's take a little look at the great man's work, shall we? First a clip, it's just a slide show of a lot of his effects work. Plus, it's got "Nightwish" as the background music.



Next I want to show a piece of cinema history. This is a rare 1990 Teaser shot by Stan Winston with Arnold on an off Kindergarten Cop day. I remember this clip getting me all insane over T2. Even though, when I watched the first Terminator as a kid I got scared and ran and hid in my uncle's lap.




Lastly, we look at a project Winston directed and created effects for: "A Gnome Named Gnorm". This mind sticks out most in my mind because if the proclivity for references to boobs, butts, and hitting people in the testicles.



Stan Winston is Dead | /Film

Futurama Cast

It's like, almost everybody. Click on the pic for enbiggenment.

futurama_cast.png (PNG Image, 1600x661 pixels)

Death Race Movie Trailer

JASON STATHAM DOESN'T MAKE A BAD MOVIE, IT FAILS HIM. If we're gonna talk in generalities: Chuck Norris is Jason Statham's bitch.

Death Race Movie Trailer | /Film

YouTube - Contra Trailer

Possibly the greatest trailer of all time.

YouTube - Contra Trailer

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Movie Trailer | /Film

David Fincher & Brad Pitt back together again. I'm with you, I totally hate the music in this trailer too. But trust me. It'd gonna be an art film you can stomach. SEEK IT OUT. SEE IT.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Movie Trailer | /Film

A Softer World: 316

A Softer World: 316

First Look: RoboCop Remake | /Film

I knew of a remake, and now this mock-up? They don't even have a director yet. (HEY HOLLYWOOD, I'M AVAILABLE.)

First Look: RoboCop Remake | /Film

American Babylon A.D. Movie Trailer | /Film

I was interested when I saw a teaser, but this trailer has me more interested now.

American Babylon A.D. Movie Trailer | /Film

Annals Of Anal Beads: Enjoy These Complimentary Anal Beads, Courtesy Of Fox Searchlight's 'Choke'

If you have read the book you know why this is extra funny.

Annals Of Anal Beads: Enjoy These Complimentary Anal Beads, Courtesy Of Fox Searchlight's 'Choke'

Bumblebee Dancing

Bumble B-Boy
by PatrickBoivin

I only posted this because you could tell ALOT of work went into it.

VOTD: Bumblebee Dancing | /Film

Transporter 3 French Teaser Trailer

DO WANT.

Transporter 3 French Teaser Trailer | /Film: "Transporter 3"

Jetfire in Transformers 2

HELLS YEAH

First Look: Jetfire in Transformers 2 | /Film

Tropic Thunder Viral Video

Possibly the best part of the whole evening.

VOTD: MTV Movie Award’s Tropic Thunder Viral Video | /Film

K2: The King, The Kong, and the Ugly

This makes me want to get a "You're an asshole, Billy Mitchell" T-shirt even more.

VOTD: K2: The King, The Kong, and the Ugly | /Film

Uncontacted tribe in Amazon

This photo released yesterday depicts members of a tribe in the Amazon rain forest firing arrows at an airplane. Apparently, the tribe has never had any contact with humans outside of their own group. And there are likely many other "uncontacted" tribes in the region too.

Take that people who say there's no big foot. There's a hell of a lot we don't know about earth.

Uncontacted tribe in Amazon - Boing Boing

"Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Teaser

CAN'T WAIT!

YouTube - 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' Teaser

Iron Man, Spider-Man and Hulk Computer Animated Crossover

Marvel released this as a three part webisode series to help promote comic books to kids. The resulting computer animated crossover is actually very cool.

BADASS! Well worth the watch!

VOTD: Iron Man, Spider-Man and Hulk Computer Animated Crossover | /Film

Evil Dead: The Musical’s Broadway Spoof Posters

Evil Dead: The Musical’s Broadway Spoofing Posters | /Film

Heavy Duty, Industrial-Model, Steam-Powered Dildo from 1891

Rejected by the U.S. Patent Office.

Dark Roasted Blend: World's Weirdest Gadgets

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways. "I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars, Sex and Blogs

Dudley Diaigle

I think it's David Cross in Disguise.

MikeSacks � photos of TV

Goatse for kids!

Plutose.gif (GIF Image, 352x288 pixels)

Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Predicable, but fun.
-BudhaCronX

Amore

808.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x303 pixels)

Sony to Release Spider-Man 4 in 2010? | /Film

“As far as Spider-man 4, it’s really up to Sony, it’s up to them, most likely scenario is 2010 or 2011 but we can’t speak for them and I think, that we don’t know. They have given us their re-up payment for that film so you know they’re going to make it within a reasonable time frame. Sony may be looking at some issues with the cast and so on, I think they have to make some decisions.”

Yes, Please don't rush it, LIKE WITH SPIDY THREE.

Sony to Release Spider-Man 4 in 2010? | /Film

VOTD: Ron Burgundy Interviews Tom Brokaw | /Film

See? Will Farrell is still a genius.

VOTD: Ron Burgundy Interviews Tom Brokaw | /Film

See The Movie Trailer for David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

El curioso caso de Benjamin Button
by lahigueranet

See The Movie Trailer for David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button | /Film

Soundwave Confirmed for Transformers 2 | /Film

“We had to get Soundwave in there,” Orci told IGN. “You know, we had Ravage in an early draft of the first movie and Soundwave, and we couldn’t do it right and I think this time hopefully we’ll have the ability to do it.”

Soundwave Confirmed for Transformers 2 | /Film

Star Wars 1979 Drunk Driving PSA

VOTD: Star Wars 1979 Drunk Driving PSA | /Film: "Star Wars 1979 Drunk Driving PSA"

My Video Player

Watch the latest videos on YouTube.com

Stop Uwe Boll

If you know who he is, then you'll want to sign the petition.

Stop Uwe Boll | Home

Asian Juno Poster

THANK YOU ASIA!

Juno Poster - Internet Movie Poster Awards Gallery

New Incredible Hulk Photo Reveals Captain America’s Origin | /Film

Apparently in the film, William Hurt’s General Thunderbolt Ross tells Tim Roth’s Emil Blonsky about a weapons program initiated during World War II to create a “super soldier” before giving him the injection.

New Incredible Hulk Photo Reveals Captain America’s Origin | /Film

The Bird and the Bee "Polite Dance song"

Directed by Eric Wareheim

You are watching The Bird and the Bee "Polite Dance song" Another Funny Video from Tim And Eric on Super Deluxe

What Scientologists Say About Scientology from Daveo Mathias

What Scientologists Say About Scientology from Daveo Mathias

The latest: Hi, I’m a Marvel… and I’m a DC - Iron Man and Batman

These are just great. This one is even better.

VOTD: Hi, I’m a Marvel… and I’m a DC - Iron Man and Batman | /Film

Captain America’s Shield Spotted in Iron Man | /Film

WELL, WELL, WELL.

Captain America’s Shield Spotted in Iron Man | /Film

Iron Sky: First Footage

In 1945 the Nazis fled to the moon. In 2018 they are coming back.

You will not regret watching this.

Warren Ellis � Iron Sky: First Footage

Jimmy Fallon Taking Over For Conan O’Brien: So What Do You Think?

Here's the news, in case you didn't hear about it, like 4 years ago.

Leno leaves next year. Conan will take his place. Jimmy Fallon will take Conan's place. I theorize at some point after this Letterman will quit. Late night is going to get weird. People are going to be competing with the Daily Show & Colbert, they're also going to try to "keep up the late night dynasty". Late night is gonna get weird, damnit. I'm just scared for Conan. So my personal thoughts to Conan? If you're gonna get canceled: GO NUTS. Walk out on stage, take a shit, punch a camera, and then scream for 45 mins while running around in the audience. YOU WILL MELT MINDS.

Jimmy Fallon Taking Over For Conan O’Brien: So What Do You Think? | /Film

Mike Judge’s Extract

Judge’s third live-action feature film Extract will explore “what it’s like to be the boss when everything seems to be shifting around you.” Jason Bateman has signed on to star, Judge’s new shingle Ternion Prods.

YAY! Another mike judge movie! HELL YEAH!

Mike Judge’s Extract | /Film

Dark City Director’s Cut

Drops July 29th. Guess what I'll be buying...

Dark City Director’s Cut | /Film

The Other Side of the Wind

From wikipedia:

The Other Side of the Wind is an unreleased 1972 film directed by Orson Welles and starring John Huston, Peter Bogdanovich, Dennis Hopper and Stéphane Audran. The film featured Huston as an aging arthouse director with a string of commercial flops, who seeks to make one more film laden with sex and violence to revive his flagging career.

Like many of Welles' personally-funded films, the project was filmed and re-edited on and off for several years - work on the script started in the late 1960s, in 1972 Welles said that filming was "96% complete", and by 1976 it was on the brink of completion. Serious financial problems dogged the project, and Welles's use of funds from the brother-in-law of the Shah of Iran came back to haunt him after the Shah was overthrown in 1979. A complex, decades-long legal battle over the ownership of the film ensued, with the original negative remaining in a vault in Paris. By 1998 all legal matters had been resolved and the Showtime cable network had guaranteed end money to complete the film, when a new lawsuit by Welles' daughter Beatrice was filed, causing Showtime to withdraw its funding. As of late 2007, an new agreement had been reached with Showtime, and editing of the film was currently in progress.

So, a lost Welles film is on par with say, a lost Shakespeare script. Check out a leaked clip of the soon-to-be restored film.



Wellesnet: The Orson Welles Web Resource � Blog Archive � Stunning Improvised footage from Orson Welles’ THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WIND!

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

Uma sez:

“Right now he’s putting the two films together with an intermission with an added anime sequence he had already written,” said Thurman. “So additional stories are in there, in animation.” She adds, “his anime stuff is strong.”

/Film

Empire strikes back in 60 DIY-Seconds

Empire strikes back in 60 DIY-Seconds - Nerdcore

The McLovin Fund | /Film

I know, I'm late to the whole "Superbad" thing, but just deal with it.

The McLovin Fund | /Film

20th Century Fox Blew It. Sigourney Weaver Wanted New Alien Movie From Ridley Scott Pre-AVP

The last time [Ridley and I] saw each other we talked about it. The character is still interesting [and] I’d love to work with Ridley again,” Weaver said. “But Fox has effectively killed it because of ‘Alien vs. Predator.’ What else can you do with the creature? You can take the situation, you can go back to where they came from. …To play someone who ages a couple hundred years was fascinating. [But] let [Ripley] rest.

I WEEP.

20th Century Fox Blew It. Sigourney Weaver Wanted New Alien Movie From Ridley Scott Pre-AVP | /Film

Television Star Exits Scientology

Actor Jason Beghe was best man at the wedding of "X-Files" star David Duchovny (his childhood pal) and actress Tea Leoni. In 1998, he starred as Demi Moore’s love interest in "G.I. Jane." He’s been featured in numerous TV dramas such as "Criminal Minds," "Numb3rs" and "CSI."

FOXNews.com - Television Star Exits Scientology - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment

Warren Ellis + Free Online Comic = FreakAngels

Just browsed over a few pages, looks good! Linked to the first page of the first "issue".

FreakAngels � Episode 000A

Star Wars on SpikeTV Posters

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:




Contest: Star Wars on SpikeTV Posters | /Film

Artie Lange Quits The Howard Stern Show | /Film

Well, it's been a long time coming. Listen to the break down of Artie Lang. The funniest Ex-Mad tv member. DAS SADDNESS.









Artie Lange Quits The Howard Stern Show | /Film

The Mario Theme, Performed By A Car And Some Bottles Of Wine

http://view.break.com/487616 - Watch more free videos

I got yelled at the other day for not blogging hardly any more. So, what better way to try to restart my blog. I LOVE MARIO THEMES.

Clips: The Mario Theme, Performed By A Car And Some Bottles Of Wine

Surviving the Wrier's Strike

With the writer's strike on full blast, entertainment is hard to come by. But thankfully, you're friends with me and I'm here to help. GET TO DOWNLOADING.

Dexter
Get the jump on CBS who will start airing the Showtime series Feb 13th. Micheal C. Hall (of "Six Feet Under" fame) plays a serial killer who is also a forensic pathologist (murder scene blood work). They've already pumped out two seasons worth of this crime drama meets avenger story. It's darkly witty and I can't get enough of it.

Breaking Bad
The dad from "Malcolm in the Middle" is a high school chemistry teacher.He finds out that under the best circumstances he'll die in two years from cancer. He promtly looses his shit and starts cooking meth to make money. The first tv series I've ever seen with a black comedy streak so deep it borders on reality. only two episodes out right now, so get hooked before everyone else.

American Idol
Some people live and die by this shit, but let's be honest, the auditions are the best. It's so simple and straight to the point. People come in three flavors: Awesome, bland, and horrible. I wish they would only do auditions or do an "American Rejects" show. Auditions are almost over, so get on it.

A Daily Show
Without it's writers, Jon Stewart is still shining, although without the bite is admittedly diminished.

Colbert Report
Same goes here, only I kinda like Stephen more.

Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job
IF YOU DON NOT LIKE THIS SHOW YOU CANNOT BE MY FRIEND ANY MORE.

Mythbusters
I don't even think this show needs writers, so it plows on.

Dirty Jobs
Mike Rowe: Man, host, badass, possible sex symbol for our times. This show could be more entertaining unless Dog the Bounty hunter was shooting people in the background while every stripper in America danced around.

Reno 911
Somehow it gets better every year. New episodes airing now.

Celebrity Apprentice
I never really cared for the show, but after I heard Gene Simmons was on, I was on. And now, even though Gene's gone, I still like the show. I also think I nursing some illegal feelings for Trump's daughter.


So, that's how I'm making it. 'course watching some older stuff and netflix hasn't been hurting either. Feel free to leave comments about how you're surviving.

New Chris Rock Material

I've been hoping to see a new Chris Rock special soon, somebody's gotta fill that void after Dave Chapelle left, and frankly, I just don't think Carlos Mancia is the man for that job. He's funny, but, he's just not Dave. Click though for a complete list, but here's some highlights:

On Bush: "He just doesn't give a fuck about you. In the history of not giving a fuck no one has ever given less of a fuck."

On Giuliani: "He's kind of like a pit bull. Great if you have burglars but if you don't, he'll probably eat your kids."

"People say he was great on 9/11, but what about 9/10, 5/21, 12/13, hell, pick a date, any date, the guy wasn't shit."

OH CHRISTOPHER ROCKALOWSKI.

AlterNet: Blogs: Election 2008: Chris Rock: "Bush Has Made It Hard for a White Guy to Be Elected President"

David Lynch on the iphone

Sorta Nsfw: Mulholland Dr. Director David Lynch F*cking Hates People Who Watch Movies on the iPhone

Conan & Rock Band

Gaming: Mad Katz to Make Wireless and Wired Rock Band Instruments